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 It was Dec 22, 1998, three days before Christmas. We went in for our regular 11wk checkup. We were so happy, this was supposed to be the day we heard our baby's heartbeat! I knew something was wrong when my "one ultrasound per pregnancy is all that's needed" doctor brought in the ultrasound machine for a second time! after checking with the doppler and us machine, he called in his supervisor (military docs always have supervisors), after the supervisor checked with both doppler and ultrasound machine, I was sent across the street to the labor and delivery ward even though I was only 11 wks. By now I knew something was dreadfully wrong, but no one would tell me what was going on. After sitting in the L&D ward for six hours, being seen by 3 more doctors and at least 5 more nurses, using 2 more machines, finally my doctor came in told me, "I'm sorry ma'am, your baby is dead." After giving us a moment to cry and scream, he proceeded to inform me that although I was supposed be 11 wks, the baby only measured about 9, and I would need to make a choice asap. He said I could go home, and the let the misscarriage happen on its own, but doing that would risk infection, and leave me sterile. Or I could go in for a D&C right away. I chose to go home and think about it. We spent a miserable Christmas with my folks that year. Then we decided that since we definatly wanted more children in the future, I would get the D&C rather than risk all the evils that the doctor said could happen if I didn't. On the 29th of December, 1998, I went for the D&C. 2001 Update: It has been a long time, almost three years. For the most part, I think I I've gone through the grieving process over my Angel. I still have days, when I watch Angel's little brother Anthony, and think my goodness, the trouble the two of them would get into! But for the most part, I have tried to turn my grief and pain into something good. I became a volunteer at Angel Babies Forever Loved, and I am talking with a nurse about starting a support group in my area. By helping others, my Angel lives on. 2003 Update: Wow, it's so hard to believe that 5 years ago at this time I had just found out I was preggers with little Angel. How time flies. Our lives have changed so much since then. We now have two running angels, and four flying angels. I've gotten a Mother's Ring from Limoges that has all my children's birthstones. It just feels so good to wear them all together. The particular ring I have also has the mom and dad stones, so it's like my fmaily is finally complete, even if it's only on a ring on my finger. My volunteer position at Angel Babies has turned into a directorship. I'm now running the website portion of the organization.  Taken the day we discovered our Angel was in heaven. Angel would have been 11 weeks that day, but went to be with God at 9 weeks.
 If you would like to view the poem I stitched for Angel, click here. If you would like to browse through the list of support sites I've complied, click here. To view the awards this site has won, please click here. Also, these poems, found on Mr. Mom's web site, were just too precious. Please visit it, read the poems, and check out the memory pages.
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