Game Show TV

So Tuesday night I caught ABC’s Wipeout for the first time.  Love it!  Mostly because it’s funny to watch people fail in the most spectacular of ways.  It seems to be a cross between Takeshi’s Castle and this other show on the G4 Network called Ninja Warrior.  I’ve only seen one or two of the Ninja Warrior shows at my mom’s house, but DH & I first saw Takeshi’s Castle while we were stuck in Germany waiting for our oldest son to be born. (long story)  Anyway, Takeshi’s Castle is re-broadcast here in the states on the Spike channel as MXC or Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.  It’s still funny…. but the Spike network of course really destroys it for me with the potty/bedroom humor, so I can’t recommend it.  But Wipeout is a good send up.  It’s funny, and from what I’ve seen so far, there really isn’t anything I can’t let my kids see.  But seriously though, there is nothing funnier then watching people hurl themselves towards certain doom on a Japanese show, dubbed in German, and not understanding a word… Awesome.

So anyway… After Wipeout, there was this other show, Downfall.  Based on the commercials I saw, I really expected to hate it.  The show takes place on a very high rooftop in LA.  Prizes are lined up on a conveyor belt and contestants have to answer an increasing number of questions to save their prizes from falling over the side and smashing on the ground below.  At first glance, I thought “Good Gravy! How wasteful! That’s ridiculous!”  But since it came on after Wipeout, and, if you remember from yesterday’s post, I’m slowly going insane stuck on this couch, I figured what the heck…  We’ll give it a try. Worst case, it sucks and we never watch again.  After watching the first guy send his best friend over the side, I was intrigued, but still not really a fan… Until I saw the disclaimer that all prizes on the belt are fakes, they aren’t destroying the real thing! *Phew* Ok, now I feel better about this show. *S* It’s actually an OK show, like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, but with the added stress level and distraction of watching your goodies take a tumble.  It’s a fun waste of time, but no where near as awesome as a German-dubbed Japanese show.  Good times.

This entry was posted in TV.

AI: Auditions continue

So… yea. You know the deal. A bunch of losers, a few winners, and every winner has a sob story. *sigh*  I’m tired of recapping these things already.  Although I must say, the “Amazing Grace” dude – you know… the one that refused to leave, resisted security, and put up a fight to the point that they had to handcuff him and escort him out of the building…  He was downright freaky.  I seriously don’t blame Simon for declaring this is his last year after putting up with crazies like this.  Creepy.

Also, a note to the beatboxer/human drum machine…

He swore he was bringing “something new!” Randy was all… um.. Blake Lewis much? and dude was all, “but he didn’t beatbox while he was singing!”  Um.. dude, that because you absolutely slaughtered that song. Seriously, I couldn’t hear a single word you “sang”, if you could even call it that.  Please don’t do that again. Ever. That is all.

AI: Chicago Auditions

Chase-playing tonight, cuz I was busy rejoicing over Scott Brown’s win in Massachusetts.  Awesome!

Shania! “Man! I feel like a woman!”  Dude.  I lurve her music.  So… now we’re done pimping her out, so on with the obligatory Obama references.  Meh. Yes we can — get cottonballs for our ears.

First contestant, Katelyn.  She’s from a recently broken home, and TPTB (the powers the be) try to play up the sob story.  Her voice is nice though.  Simon and Kara both think she needs to put a little more heart n soul into her performances, but she’s through.

I like the personality of this second chic.  What the…  did she just pass out?? oh damn… I wish she had passed out!  And then oh my word…  She’s “bewb-boxing”…  Wha? She was cute and funny, but… um.. no. Not a singer.  Try broadway chica.

Charity Vance swears if she makes it through she will freak out and be the “crazy person on camera.”  Her voice is … wow.  She sounds good.  She gets to freak out on camera.

Que the Loser Parade!

And in walks Angela Martin. Things didn’t work out for her last time. She sings Mary J Blige “Fine” – I love that song. The judges think she deserves a break in life, and she’s through.

Now it’s time for the Winner Parade… A group of people good enough to get tickets to hollywood, but since we only have an hour tonight, they aren’t good enough for us to get to see them.

Day 2! Curly needs to go… he needs to go soooo bad that I just hit fast foward.  The whole Judges panel minus Simon tries to give the next girl, Alana, singing lessons.  She obviously doesn’t get through, and this obviously a loser parade.

Brian comes out… and he’s already a joke… but as soon as he said “my favorite artist, Tiny Tim”….  I hit fast forward. OMG… Just… NO!

Harold is looking like he’s trying to be a pimp, like he’s all that… He sings Usher, and it’s a no.  He tries to blame it on allergies, but Kara shoots him down, and he breaks out in tears right on the stage.

This Loser Parade is set to Shania’s “That don’t Impress Me Much”.

John Park is here because his parents are pissed he wants to be a singer.  They think he should “get a real job”.  He’s got a nice, deep sound.  Shania says he has a “beautiful bottom end”. Randy starts messing with her, and she changes it to “nice tone down there” which sets Randy off even more… Then Shania hits the hat trick with “you have a good head.”  Oh my word!!  Once the judges get over their fits of giggles, he gets a golden ticket because, well, he’s the best voice to walk through the doors all day.

Paige Dechausse is an asthmatic. She has a nice sound.  She had some pitch problems, but the girls think she has potential, and they convince Randy, so she’s through.  And she’s so excited she’s sucking on her inhaler.

A bunch of people are good enough for the golden tickets.  Thirteen in total on Day 2. That’s it.

Farewell Chicago.  Thank goodness.

AI: the ATL auditions

Ok… so Mary J Blige is in the house! Awesome! I adore her song “Fine“.

First dude out is stiff, and wooden, and singing his own “original” song… He starts in a really bad falsetto, and goes into a deep bass so low I can’t hear it.  but I so don’t care… Oh… and this poor guy just doesn’t know when to walk away. *sigh*

Lil’ Miss Congeniality is doing Celine Dion. She puts a nice twist on things…  based on what we’ve seen so far, she’ll be through.  She’s a cutie pie.  I almost snorted my soda when Kara said “I love that you don’t make any crazy faces when you sing.”  *cough Jessica Simpson cough*

This touches off a parade of females who can sing pretty decently.  Leading us to Jermaine, who takes care of his mom who has Spina-bifida.  He’s doing Joan Osbourne.  I’m not sure how I feel about the song, but what he did with it… rocked.

Kristy Marie is a TV show hostess.  Who thinks she’s just to promote her show?  Yea…  I’m not buying her vocals at all, it’s way to choppy for that song… LOL @ Simon! “Singing is my life! I wanna go to hollywood!” Simon: “Not with that audition.” LOL!!

And Kristy touches off the loser parade, which leads us to Vanessa, a “bridge jumper” from Tennessee…  and she sounds hillbilly too.  Whatcha bet she sings country? DH says “DUH! whatcha u think, she’s gonna get up there and sing Shakira?”  Aaaaand…  no, I just don’t dig this one…  but somehow the judges like her and think she’s a “authentic country girl”…  I swear to you, when Simon said she was through she totally said “Are you cereal??” and then told her momma she’d be riding on an “Aire-O-Plane” …  I can not make this stuff up.  There is almost no way this girl makes it through Hollywood Week.

As hillbilly as this next guy sounds…  the AI producers are making completely fun of him with the “cheap dramatization” of his supposed 3 near death experiences.  And now he’s taking way too long to start his audition, and Mary cracked up laughing!  Kara’s trying to cover with the “Oh, Mary’s upset… ”  Mary gets herself under control, and Randy gets the kid started on a Garth Brooks song.  As soon as he starts, Mary cracks up again, and Simon just tells him “No.”  AI producers give us the treat of hearing the real Garth, while watch the next edition of the loser parade.

Oh. Noes. It’s the human guitar. She’s wearing her halloween costume to sing… *sigh* WOW! This little tiny voice turned into a deep power voice.  The guitar costume threw Mary off, but the girl told Simon he was “gorgeous” and she’s actually through.

The loser parade leads to Mallorie, who is actually good.  So good I rewound and listened twice.  There is a good possibility that this chick could be one of our finalists. She ushers in a Winners Parade! and Woo! Hot ‘Lanta is Hawt!

Oh…  Skii Bo Ski’s shirt is spelled wrong, “but that’s y we get discounts.” I’ll admit, I had him pegged as a loser in the holding room.  His voice is… not bad.  Mary & Randy agree – the vocal is ok, but the image sucks.  Mary J Blige tells him to make his image to match his vocals and he’ll do well.

OMG Ya’ll!  It’s the BFFs! Woo!!  And they make the cardinal mistake of auditioning together.  Simon tells them to form a group cuz apart they are boring, but together they are funny.  The blonde is through, the brunnette is in tears.

Simon has left because the latest round of the loser parade has given him a migraine.  And in walks the “street-wise cop.”  The cop is good.  Very Good.  He’s soooo through.

Lamar is super psyched to perform for Mary J Blige.  He goes with Seal’s Kiss From a Rose, and just tortures it.  Randy and Kara try to let him down easy… but he doesn’t get it.  Mary tells him to stop “elevating himself” or whatever, and he so doesn’t get, and keeps going until they have to call in the goons to chase him off.  Mary said she was scared of him and swears she thought he was gonna pull a piece.  He curses the whole way out to the street as security walks him like a block away from the venue.

One last audition, and there is no way this guy is going through cuz he’s too old.  But his song “Pants on the ground” is HI-Larious! “Pants on the ground, pants on the ground! Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground!”  This song is soooo going to be on YouTube soon.

LOL! they had the whole crowd singing “Pants on the Ground”, aw… that’s awesome.

Correction, it’s already on Youtube! Enjoy (until fox finds it and pulls it)

and another version, filmed by another contestant on the show:

So that was the ATL. See ya’ll next time.

American Idol is back!

Honestly, I quit watching during the last season, and wasn’t planning to watch this season.  I think Idol  jumped the shark a few seasons back.  But I’m intrigued to see how Ellen does as judge this year.  Paula is… well… Paula. As encouraging as she could be, I was pretty tired of her “Kittens! Sunshine! WOO!” palm-clap thing.  I’ll be typing while watching, all stream-of-consciousness style, so forgive the spelling errors, LOLspeak, and excessive use of the ellipsis plz…  So here we go.

9000 fans, in Fenway park, in the cold and rain.  Yea, that’s good for the voice. /sarcasm.  Oh hey! we’re not even past the opening credits and I’ve already seen the first  “Oh HAIL NOE!” … A dude in a mint green super tight tee, with pink fairy wings and a tiara. Please tell me this was his 15 seconds of fame and we won’t have to endure him later. Oh well, on with the show.

Dude.  First contestant – it always sux to b the first…  but dude…  just because you can sing in front of a video game, doesn’t mean you should. Plz go home now.

hey AI producers – wtg exploiting the down syndrome brothers to get contestant 2 a sob story.  She has a decent voice… a little shaky, but decent…  u cud have let her stand on her own…

Oh Noes! Pat Ford… Plz just stop. You are a trainwreck. First plz don’t dance anymore… and oh my word…  He’s singing Britney’s Womanizer!  Oh plz…  just end this… Oh, and he’s picking a fight with Simon…  surefire way to get camera time.  Dude! if Randy tells him to “stop singing forever” then yea…  this guy is BAD.

Jazz Chick is good… and a whole series of decent voiced females continue the parade.  Dude.  AI doesn’t sell enough commericials in their 5 minute spots…  so their now selling ads during the show? Nice little Ford ad down there guys… Ugh.

Mobster dude has a decent voice… and we haven’t put any guys through yet, so… he’ll make it.

Hippie Derek…  no. make it stop. I’m fast-forwarding.  Oh! and Derek touches off the loser parade…  Weep, weep, sob, sob.

Ooo… Anime chick… who wants to bet she’s here to get the camera time to hype her fashion line…  I mean, costume changes in the holding room…  yea… oh! and as soon as she opens her mouth its sooo obvious that’s exactly what this is… and yea, pick a fight a with Simon to get more face time on camera.  *sigh* I’m so over this.

But there is hope… Seems to be a group of guys messing around with harmonies in the holding room who all sound really good.  WTG guys!

Andrew really doesn’t have the personality for this show.  He’s sporting some serious BC’s.  He starts off bad by being pissy with Seacrest, the camera man, Simon…  everyone…  oh! OW!!! His singing… no…  and now he’s fighting with Kara… Bad move.  Like Simon says, he’s very sulky, aggressive, etc… and yea..  and like Posh says, he doesn’t have the goods to back it up. LOL! Kara says he needs a spanking and this show just veered into the gutter.  Poor guy, he seems utterly shell-shocked at the girls’ reaction.

Oh good grief…  Boston is full of Music Colleges…  that means ALOT of sucky, uber-affected voices all of whom genuinely think they can sing, cuz they go to music school! WOO! Ugh.

Ashley is pretty good out of the gate…  Ha. Kara tells her she’s got a look that is very “commercial”.  That’s Kara-ese for “U R Hawt. U will sell records with ur bewbies.”  But she’s got the voice to back it up, so she’s through.

The drummer who broke both wrists… I have a feeling this will end badly.  The judges rag on him for his retro look… wow…  pleasantly surprised with this guy…  Tyler – he’s got a nice voice, and gets 4 yeses.

So, Day 2.  The waitress with alot of confidence who is self-taught by singing along with Mariah Carey… Yea… this isn’t going to end well.  Aaaand….  it doesn’t.  Uh, Buh-bye!

Speedboat dude has the voice, and wow… one of the better ones I’ve heard so far. How does Randy think that wasn’t good? Was he listening to the same audition? Whateva.  He’s through.

16 yr old Katie is amazing… even without the backstory of the gramma with Alzheimers… She’s got a voice that stands on it own.

Joshua has the hard job of following Katie.  He’s a little flat in places, and really, dude, pick a note.  Randy tries to give him assertiveness lessons by having him yell at Simon, who isn’t doing anything yet.  They put him through, but he won’t make it through Hollywierd Hell Week.

Seacrest shows us a bit of the behind-the-scenes action.  And to illustrate how intimidating all that sound equipment, crew, & lighting can be, we are treated to a series of really bad singing, including the William Hung Wanna-Be.

And… It’s cancer boy’s turn.  They’ve been hyping him all episode, so you know he’s got a voice and will make it.  He’s got a nice sound, very mellow.  Simon loves it, you can tell by his smile.  Victoria takes a page out of Kara’s book and judges him based on his “nice face, girls will love you.”  Of course he’s through.

oh no. the Micheal Jackson wanna-be. Costumes are generally an indication of an attention whore with a really bad voice.  Simon nails this one, “You sing like a 3 yr old girl, you dress like Latoya Jackson…” Yea, just no. Buh-bye dude.

The son of Nigerian immigrants, Bosa, is pretty ok.  That’s a country song, and he put a nice twist on it.  Randy is the deciding vote, and Bosa is through.  He needs to work on his attitude, he was a little shaky.  Not sure if he will make it through Hell week though.

This last girl had me a little worried, cuz she was almost in tears before she even started…   But she has a really nice voice.  She’s a little shaky because she’s so nervous. She needs some confidence if she’s to survive Hollywood.

So that’s a wrap.  32 people from the Boston auditions have tickets to Hollywood, and thankfully we never saw the mint fairy thing from the opening credits.  Tomorrow night AI goes to Atlanta with – looks like – Mary J Blige?  Should be fun, see you then.

things that made me happy…

Well, what can be said for today….  I’m alive.  So I guess that’s number one.  I have amazing kids, who don’t trash the house when mom needs a nap.  I have a loving husband who does his best to look out for me even from an ocean away.  I’m alos pretty thankful for networks that put full episodes of  TV shows online because, DUDE! that’s the only way I’m keeping up with Hell’s Kitchen & Amazing Race this year, and for real, I just luv the escapism.

Hollywood week.

Seacrest starts the show by saying “there can be only one.”  What are we on highlander now?  Will the contestants be handed swords and told to behead the competition?  That might raise the ratings.

Loved the pierced guy who sings Ray Boltz “The Anchor Holds”… Well, until he has a breakdown on stage. *sigh*

Rose really picked a good song for her time at bat in Hollywood.  She was nervous, so she sang “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay”.  It was good, because her nerves served to put more emotion into the performance.

Dude, the guy with the alter ego…  No.  He gets laughs because everyone figures he won’t get through.

OO!  Blind guy got through.  they didn’t give him any airtime, but, he’s got talent.  I hope he gets a friendly bunch on Group Sing day…  someone who will work with his vision impairments.

I disagree with Paula.  I don’t think the guy who just lost his wife is ready for this.  I think he sounded shaky.  I think he needs time to grieve his wife.  Next year he would probably rock this show.  This year…  I will be surprised if he doesn’t wind up having a break down on stage one week.

Tomorrow is Group Nite!  Should be fun.

AI is back

American Idol is back, and so is JD!!  Ya’ll have got to head over there and check out his review.

Personally, I’m tired of the stupid fame-seekers looking for 5 minutes off a bad audition.  Oh, and may I just say, I totally agreed with Kara about the lack of “swing” or emotion coming from BikiniGirl.  I hate that such a young girl, with a fairly decent voice, felt she needed to use her body to sell her voice.  That’s just sad.  I think Blind Guy will do awesome IF he can make it through the group portion of HollyWierd Hell Week. Hopefully he gets paired up with some understanding guys, like Sensitive Roughneck, who will work with him to make it work.

Now go check out JD’s full review!  it’s teh awesome!

Earth's last Eden meets American reality TV

Yup, I caught Survivor Gabon online a few days late because of satellite disruptions last Thursday.

May I just say that Fang got pwned, srsly.  I will miss Gillian’s soft South African accent, but not the yowling cheerleader she became at challenge time.  While I thought her pick of Crystal was smart at first,… well, yea.  Crystal may be fast, but good at Survivor type challenges?  That is yet to be seen.  That said, Crystal will get to lay low as long as GC keeps shooting off his mouth.  Mr. Sure I’ll Be The Leader, Wait, No I Wont.  He has a serious chip on his shoulder.  He went bat-shit insane on Gilly when she mentioned that in general the tribe ought to respect quiet hours.  He insisted it was an attack on him personally, and if the preview from next week is any indication, this mentality will on continue until they kick him off.  He’s got a very Me-Against-The-World attitude that will make him a HUGE target in this game.  Personal Trainer Matty is just in denial over how bad his team totally sucks.  Meanwhile, Dan the lawyer. Dan, Dan, Dan…  How can you be a lawyer and be that stupid?  Wait, nevermind.  He so over thought the clue!  and if he just kept walking a few more over the top of the hill he would have seen the “Crater of Sand.”  Wonder if he’s feeling stoo-pid watching the replay.

On the Kota tribe, old man Bob is more of an asset then he looks.  Whaddya know?  Phyics teachers from Maine know a little sumpin’ sumpin’ about surviving in the wilds of Africa.  It’s clearly a case of a more experienced mind in a body fit enough to keep up – for now.  in a few weeks when what little body fat he had is gone and the food is scarce, it will be a different story altogether.  Plus, Charlie has such a crush on Marcus.  However, Marcus is totes strait and has already told Charlie once to back off. (The “this may be Eden, but we are not Adam & Adam” line – Priceless!)  However, Charlie feels so “safe” whenever Marcus is around.  Dude!  The whole convo in the canoe, my gaydar was on hi!  Marcus has to see this, if not he is the blindest guy to ever grace the show…  wait, no, I don’t think anyone can truly take that title from last season’s Jason, but still…  If Marcus doesn’t see the man-crush he must have no gaydar.  I totes see this little crush causing big trouble in little Kota very soon if Charlie can’t reign himself in.

Whatever happens in the next few weeks, it is surely shaping up to be a fun season.  Can’t wait til next Thursday!